Wrong

I know something is wrong with me.
And I am not writing it to be read.
I am writing it so that I can forget,
Like every time I know that there is something wrong.
I gulp it down like a gin
My eyes close tight shut, my brain jammed
And let the silence scream... for that moment only.


I fear you like death
Avoiding the avidity even though knowing that it will come eventually
I am scared of you like hell
Still whimsical when I know that is the place meant for me.
I hate the hate in you
Only you can rock the stone in me.


And today I feel like those times.
When you have returned on white mare,
Turning my being hollow and spirit vague.
And now that you have arrived,
Don’t come too fast and don’t stay for long.
Don’t make me a stranger to me,
Don’t let me meet myself.
And please you don’t tell me when I know myself,
That there is not something but everything wrong with me.