Longing for love Part 1

Where the wants wanted to end and the need be needed
You stood in the halfway lurking behind the shadows of wreath
Witless eyes holding my sight,
Ire knuckles clenching too hard,
Your jaws taut and brows raised,
Your wait is making you wait too long.
You are stuck, stuck in the vagaries of self.
I am no hope but a chance to release you from this chasm.

And there I stood in the small square of life,
In front of me lay sin and wise.
One austere and fearful,
Another buoyant and refined.
Wise gives me admonitions, the sin serves me with bait.
One’s journey will be painful another’s destination will be nowhere.

Perhaps this the course of life, I must decide,
To be with my darling or fox him for another’s life.

It was the wise, who spoke first,
Pertinent and harsh...

“Must you match your might, my love
For the heaps of tears shall beckon in coming times.
Before you bask in its glory,
Pain will dire you to snivel and slacken.
You will recede your steps I shall tell you,
For pain is mightier than your might.
And it is then, your fate will be deciduous of your act!
I do not aid you and I will not aid.
I only provide, if only you have the courage then take it!”

Wrong

I know something is wrong with me.
And I am not writing it to be read.
I am writing it so that I can forget,
Like every time I know that there is something wrong.
I gulp it down like a gin
My eyes close tight shut, my brain jammed
And let the silence scream... for that moment only.


I fear you like death
Avoiding the avidity even though knowing that it will come eventually
I am scared of you like hell
Still whimsical when I know that is the place meant for me.
I hate the hate in you
Only you can rock the stone in me.


And today I feel like those times.
When you have returned on white mare,
Turning my being hollow and spirit vague.
And now that you have arrived,
Don’t come too fast and don’t stay for long.
Don’t make me a stranger to me,
Don’t let me meet myself.
And please you don’t tell me when I know myself,
That there is not something but everything wrong with me.